


Izviner

by Sociopathicnutellaeggplant



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Cute?, Izaya Being Izaya, Izaya viner, M/M, Short, Teasing, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-09 19:11:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12282678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sociopathicnutellaeggplant/pseuds/Sociopathicnutellaeggplant
Summary: Izaya educates the world with his 10 second videos





	1. How to make your boyfriend hard

Izaya held his phone at a high angle, the lens facing him and capturing him inside his bedroom. 

"How to make your boyfriend hard" Izaya said before the camera cut to Izaya standing near Shizuo who was on the couch. 

"Shizuo~" Izaya called Shizuo's full name 

"GODDAMIT IZAYA WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SAYING MY NAME LIKE THAT YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES TO MY DICK" Shizuo shouted. Izaya's laughter could be heard while the camera shook from running, soon going black.


	2. Benefits of having a super strong boyfriend

"Benefits of having a super strong boyfriend" Izaya said to his camera while sitting on his desk, the camera getting a great view... outside the window was good too. His voice was higher pitched than usual. 

"Shizu-chan, can you please open this?" Izaya asked sweetly from next to Shizuo in the kitchen as he handed him an unopened glass jar. 

"Sure" Shizuo said as he took the jar. He gripped the jar lightly and it shattered into pieces. Shizuo then lifted one of Izaya's hands, opened it and placed a mixture of squished pickles and glass into his hand. "Call me that again and you'll be the replacement for the jar" Shizuo stated simply before walking out of the kitchen. Izaya stood there in silence until the camera went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I doing with my life these probably aren't even funny XD


	3. Who's the truely diabolical one?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lost faith in humanity yet?

Izaya hid Shizuo's pudding, the camera in view of every moment.   
"Shizu-chan, I ate your pudding-" Izaya's speech was cut off by Shinra's coffee table hitting him. He fell to the floor and his phone tumbled to his side, the recording still going. 

"You should have known better..." Shinra's voice could be heard. His voice was lacking any compassion. 

"Yeah, you missed your chance. You should have done that when his bones cracked easily." Kasuka said with his same blank expression. The room fell silent. Shinra and Izaya shared the look of them coming to the realisation that perhaps Izaya wasn't the most diabolical one in the room. 

The camera turned black.


	4. Morning vampire hunt

"How to tell if your boyfriend is a vampire" Shizuo whispered as he sat on the side of the bed, the camera in view of both Izaya and Shizuo. Shizuo had taken hostage of Izaya's phone, using this opportunity to its fullest. The room was dark and the lack of colours Shizuo's golden hair stand out more than anything. Shizuo walked toward the window, his phone still having Izaya in its view. 

"Izaya~" Shizuo called which caused Izaya to sleepily flutter his eyes open. Moments later, he ripped the curtain open, allowing sunlight to invade the room. Izaya hissed before diving straight off the bed onto the floor, taking the blanket he was wrapped in with him. A knife flying past the lens was the last thing the camera picked up before turning black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izaya's hobby rubbing off onto Shizuo.


	5. Chillin' with my bitches

"...Shizu-chan what are y-" Izaya started but was interrupted by Shizuo

"I'm just chillin' with my bitches" Shizuo said casually as he relaxed more against the couch, both his arms spread out over the top of the couch with about 5 tiny puppies crawling over and around him. 

"Shizu-chan, that isn't funny..." Izaya tried to sound unimpressed but his voice was shaky. He looked very on edge. "Comedy really isn't your strong point, maybe just stick to OH MY GOSH GET THIS DEMON AWAY FROM ME HELP ME" Izaya shouted as one of the puppies crawled onto his shoe. It remained sitting on his shoe, tongue out, panting. 

"Why would I help you when you just stole my bitch?" Shizuo faked a pout. Izaya remained completely horrified, being attacked by the puppy and Shizuo's jokes. 

The camera turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo getting back at Izaya for his previous vines... I did say that it could only get worse


	6. Get the fuck outta here, princess.

"Mmm, oh Shizu-chan~" Izaya moaned from Shizuo's lap as he held the camera at a high angle. Get all those fangirl views. The room was dark and both Shizuo and Izaya were hot. Izaya gently pushed Shizuo down onto the couch, keeping the phone at an angle that captured them making out. Suddenly, the light switched on.

"Not in my fucking swamp." Shinra stated before picking Izaya up the hood of his coat, dropping him on the doorstep. The camera caught a glimpse of Shinra slamming the door and Izaya's confused face. He sat there for a few moments in confusion and silence before the camera went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no regrets for what I have created.


	7. Kiss me, my love!

"Shizu-chan, can I have my phone back?" Izaya asked Shizuo, looking extremely tired.

"Only if you give me a kiss" Shizuo bargained smoothly. Izaya rolled his eyes and walked up to Shizuo. 

"Fine, I'll give you a k-..." Izaya stopped by the sound of a zipper. He looked down to see Shizuo removing his pants "what are you doing?" Izaya asked with a look of dread on his face 

"Giving you easy access to kiss my ass" Shizuo replied simply. Izaya groaned loudly, running a hand down his face. 

The camera turned to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iiiiiiiiiit's 4am! Whyyyyyyy am I writing when I should be sleeeeeeeeping?


	8. strong boi ain't so tough now

"Shizu-chan, that is a blueprint for assembling a table." Izaya stands behind Shizuo, camera in hand, filming him looking slightly confused while fiddling with small pieces of plastic. 

"What's your fucking point?!" Shizuo growls, not looking away from the blueprint. 

"You're supposed to be assembling a coffee machine..." Izaya states, trying to keep his voice not sounding sarcastic. 

"How the hell am I supposed to know what the blueprint is for?!" Shizuo slams the piece of paper down on the ground, his rage obviously building up.

"It says "table" in bold letters several times" Izaya zooms up to capture Shizuo's annoyed face 

"BUT ITS IN FUCKING ENGLISH" Shizuo roars and holds the piece of paper that has instructions in English 

"Shizuo, turn the paper around around..." Izaya groans and facepalms 

"Oh..." Shizuo says simply after turning the paper around, revealing the Japanese instructions. 

The camera goes black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mhm


	9. There's a time and a place for everything

Izaya is laying down on the bed with Shizuo sitting on the bed opposite him. 

"Hey Izaya, spell "me"" Izaya rolls his eyes at Shizuo's words 

"Shizu-chan this is so old... "M-E-D"." Izaya spells out angrily 

"What...?" Shizuo asks confused 

"Because the D is literally in me right now!" Izaya whines as the camera zooms out to reveal Shizuo's pants down, his front pressed against Izaya's backside. Izaya's shirt is covering their lower bodies. "I can't believe you would do this during sex" Izaya double facepalmed and groaned in pure frustration.

The camera turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that I'm not sorry.


	10. How to annoy someone with great reflexes

"How to annoy someone who has great reflexes" Izaya announces to the camera before the scene changes to Shizuo in the kitchen making a sandwich. When the sandwich is fully made, Izaya raises his voice. 

"Hey, Shizu-chan" Izaya calls to grab Shizuo's attention before throwing a knife. Shizuo catches the knife before it makes its way into his skull, causing him to drop his freshly made sandwich onto the floor. 

"FUCK! THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU!" Shizuo roars loudly. The camera blurs from Izaya's running as Shizuo's screams get louder. Various pieces of furniture are seen flying through the air. 

The camera goes black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip Shizuo's sandwich 
> 
> As we all know, the life of Shizuo's sandwich ended unexpectedly. Although we are sad at knowing that Sandwich never had the chance to experience the true pleasures of being digested in its short lived life, Sandwhich was still a wonderful piece of classic culinary cuisine. Sandwich would not want you to mourne too long, but to celebrate its life. So, to honour Sandwich's life, I invite you all to the after party (coffee not provided because of unforeseen circumstances). Thank you.


	11. When yo boyfriend dumb af and worries too much

"When yo boyfriend dumb af but worries too much" Izaya said to the camera. The scene changed. 

Izaya was sitting behind his desk when suddenly he coughed. He held his mouth up to his elbow to make sure any germs didn't spread in his nice and clean working environment. Izaya looked up from his desk at the sound of a phone calling someone. The recording appeared to be coming from the camera of Izaya's computer. 

"SHINRA IZAYA'S DYING HELP ME WHAT SHOULD I DO GET YOUR ASS HERE RIGHT NOW!" Shizuo shouted at the top of his lungs in total panic. Izaya face palmed. 

"Shizuo, it was just a cough..." Izaya said softly, trying his best to convince the other that he was fine. 

"BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE DYING?!" Shizuo shouted. 

"I won-..." Izaya was cut off by Shizuo shoving his face into his chest and stroking his hair. 

"Shhh, you shouldn't talk now. You need to reserve your energy" Izaya sighed and gave up. 

The camera went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo baby looking out for his boyfriend's health


	12. Struggles of being powerful at the dentist

Izaya turned his camera on to film a dentist running from the building he works in screaming his head off. Moments later, Shizuo sighed when coming out of the dentist. 

"What happened?" Izaya asked with fake concern, obviously trying to hold in his laughter. 

"He couldn't pierce my gum with the needle..." Shizuo told Izaya quietly, looking ashamed. Izaya couldn't help himself and started to laugh. 

"And?" Izaya wanted the full story 

"Then I snapped the metal thing in half with my teeth..." Shizuo sighed and Izaya continued laughing

The camera cut to when another dentist was running from the building, Izaya walked out of the dentist after the dentist. 

"What did you do..?" Shizuo asked with a look of dread. 

"He found my tiny emergency blade in my mouth." Izaya replied with a shrug. 

"And...?" Shizuo asked because he knew all too well there was more to Izaya's stories. 

"And then I recited his social security number to him" Izaya said simply and Shizuo just stood there shocked. 

The camera went black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I should write about dentist struggles for the two most feared men

**Author's Note:**

> Don't even question it. toooootally not going to make more...


End file.
